Who’s your Political Dream Team?

by Rachel Roberts |

Whilst we firmly believe their ain’t no party like an S Club Party, for one night only we’ll be rocking around the clock at the PRCA all night election party tonight in Westminster.

As we’ll be in the beating heart of democracy at a time when the official election candidates look like they haven’t really got their fingers on the pulse of the public’s real political persuasions, as well as live tweeting from the twelve hour political marathon we’ll also be hosting our own hustings and encouraging voting in our own #politicaldreamteam poll.

Thanks to nominations from the @spottydogcomms team we unveil the candidates vying for places in our own celebrity cabinet. Read their pitches carefully and cast your vote here. In the event of a hung parliament we’re ready Your Majesty to form the next government with our #politicaldreamteam

Prime Minister

– Sharon Osbourne – Can’t wait for Prime Minister’s questions with her at the lectern

– Bear Grylls – Chief Scout, outstanding leadership skills and he’ll make sure we survive whatever happens

– Jeremy Clarkson – Currently available and looking for a job

– Francis Underwood – He promises to wheel and deal to keep the House of Cards in place

Chancellor

– Martin Lewis – with his money saving skills the coffers will be full in no time

– The Banker from Deal or No Deal

– Carol Vorderman – she is good with numbers

– Dara O’ Briain – bring his School of Maths expertise to help balance the books

Secretary of State for Culture

– Dowager Duchess of Grantham – Bringing (costume) drama to Downing Street from Downton

– Boy George – The founding father of the Culture Club

– Damien Hirst – He loves spots (Declared political bias from the @spottydogcomms team)

– Conchita Wurst rising like a phoenix from the end of her Eurovision reign

Secretary of State for Education

– Brian Cox – Because we believe anything he tells us

– Mr Shuu from Glee – he’ll help kids reach for the stars

– Ricky Wilson – using the coaching skills honed on The Voice we predict there will be no riot

– Walter White – he has the Chemistry to make sure the kids stop Breaking Bad

Secretary of State for Environment

– Katie Hopkins – She’s so fracking annoying that we’ll cut our carbon just to shut her up

– Ricky Gervais – When he’s not in The Office he is a passionate animal rights campaigner

– Stella McCartney – uses wind power to design her clothes – so imagine what the hot air from politics could dazzle us with

– Sting – he’s saved the rainforest so we reckon he should be able to save our greenbelt

Head of Comms

– Malcolm Tucker from the Thick of it

– Patsy Stone will make an Ab Fab Head of Comms

– Samantha Jones from Sex in the City

– CJ Cregg from the West Wing

 

Now you’ve considered our candidates credentials it’s time to cast your vote here and give your political dream team their passport to Parliament.